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a monologue from
DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD

by Lucian

adapted by Baudelaire Jones


ALEXANDER: Silence, Minos, would be the best answer to such a boastful tongue. All the world knows of my Fame—that alone should suffice to prove I was a great prince, and my opponent a petty adventurer. But I would have you consider the gulf between us. I was only a boy when called to the throne—and yet I successfully quelled the disorders of my kingdom and avenged my father's murder. By the destruction of Thebes, I inspired such awe among the Greeks that they appointed me their commander-in-chief. From that moment forward, scorning to confine myself to the kingdom I had inherited from my father, I extended my gaze over the entire face of the earth! Nothing but the whole of it would quench my ambition! I dared to invade Asia and, with only a modest force, gained a great victory on the Granicus, took Lydia, Ionia, Phrygia—in short, subdued all that was within my reach. I marched for Issus, where Darius waited at the head of his myriads. You know the result of that confrontation—any historian can tell you the number of dead I dispatched on that bloody day. The ferryman says his boat wouldn’t hold them—most had to cross to the underworld on rafts of their own construction. I was ever at the head of my troops, ever courted danger. I penetrated into India, and carried my empire to the shores of Ocean. I captured elephants. I conquered Porus. I crossed the Tanais, and worsted the Scythians—no mean enemies. I heaped benefits on my friends, but wasn’t afraid to punish my enemies. If men mistook me for a god, well—who can blame them? The grandeur of my victories might excuse such a belief. But to conclude, I died a king—Hannibal, a fugitive—fitting end for such a villain. Of his Italian victories I will say only this—they were not the fruit of honest warfare, but of treachery, craft, and deceit. He accuses me of self-indulgence, but it’s well known that he and his soldiers grew soft and fat wooing the ladies of Capua while the Romans gathered their army. Had I not scorned the Western world and turned my attention to the East, I could easily have conquered his Italy, Libya, and everything else as far West as Gades—but nations that already cowered beneath a master were unworthy of my sword. That’s all. I will say nothing more. Of the many arguments I might have used, these shall suffice. Minos, I await your decision.

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Copyright © 2007 by Baudelaire Jones

CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that Dialogues of the Dead is subject to a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth), and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including professional and amateur stage performing, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound taping, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as information storage and retrieval systems and photocopying, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved.

Inquiries concerning all rights should be addressed to the author at jones@theatredatabase.com

 

 



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